She was here.. wasn't she?

Today is Saturday. It is 7 AM and I definitely should not be awake.

She should have not been there by my side in bed either when I suddenly woke up a few minutes ago... but she was.

As I said she should have not, but it felt great having her laying there... wondering how had she get here without me noticing... how had she managed and why did I not remember.

 It felt right, and somehow it felt wrong as well as I knew it couldn't  really have lasted for long. I somehow knew she is just not for me, even if we would surely do fine... just amazingly fine together.

As a matter of fact I finally found out she wasn't really there... After all it was my brain to be blamed of having put her here, and that's perhaps best because it saves a lot of explanations.

It also prevents a lot of kisses and caresses from happening that will now perhaps never take place. It would have been tender... sweet... amazing...unbelievable... and now of course I hope it will perhaps be so some other time.... or many....

But for the time being,  so be it. I am left alone on a Saturday morning, with not a lot to do but much more to think about that I would have normally had... I will try to enjoy it.